9 Tips For A Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships have been shown to increase our happiness, improve our health and above all reduce our stress levels. There are basic ways to make relationships healthy, we all know that each relationship is different. These tips apply to all kinds of relationships: friendships, work and family relationships, as well as romantic ones.

1. Keep expectations realistic.

   No one can be everything we want them to be right. But a healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not trying to change them.

   
   

2. Talk with each other.

   This can not be said enough: communication is the key it is essential to having a healthy relationship.

   • Take the time. Really be there.

   • Genuinely listen.  Do not interrupt or plan what you’re going to say next.  Try to fully understand their perspective if you can.

   • Ask questions.  This will show that you are interested in what they are saying.  Ask about their experiences, feelings, opinions, and interests.

   • Share information. Let people know who you are, but don’t overwhelm with too much personal information too soon.

3. Be flexible.

   It is natural to feel uneasy about change. When you are in a healthy relationship this allows for change and growth.

4. Take care of yourself, too.

   Healthy relationships are mutual, with room for both people’s needs and wants.

5. Be dependable.

   If you make plans with someone, then stick to them. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Healthy relationships are trustworthy.

6. Fight fair.

   Most relationships have some kind of conflict at some point. It only means you disagree about something; it does not have to mean you don't like each other.

   • Cool down before talking. The conversation will be more productive if you have it when your emotions have cooled off a little, so you don’t say something you might regret later.

   • Use “I statements.” Share how you feel and what you want without assigning blame or motives, for example “When you don’t call me, I start to feel like you don’t care about me” vs. “You never call me when you’re away.  I guess I’m the only one who cares about this relationship.”

   • Keep your language clear and specific. Try to factually describe behaviour that you are upset with, avoiding criticism and judgment. Attack the problem, not the person.

   • Focus on the current issue. The conversation is likely to get bogged down if you pile on everything that bothers you.  Avoid using “always” and “never” language and try to address one issue at a time.

   • Take responsibility for mistakes. Apologize if you have done something wrong; this will go a long way towards setting things right again.

   • Recognize some problems are not easily solved. Not all differences or difficulties can be resolved. You are different people, and your values, beliefs, habits, and personality may not always be in alignment with one another.  Communication goes a long way towards helping you understand each other and helps you to address those concerns, but some things are deeply rooted and may not change significantly. It is important to figure out for yourself what you can or are prepared to accept, or when a relationship is no longer healthy for you.

7. Keep your life balanced.

   Other people help make our lives satisfying but they cannot meet every one of our needs. Find what interests you and become involved. Healthy relationships have room for outside activities.

8. It’s a process.

   It might look like everyone is confident and connected, but most people share concerns about fitting in and getting along with others. It takes time to meet people and get to know them. Being in a healthy relationship can be learned and practiced, and then will keep getting better, and you will enjoy it more.

9. Be yourself!

   It’s much easier and much more fun to be authentic than to pretend to be something or someone your not. Healthy relationships are made of real people, remember that.

Thank you for reading.